Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Life

Ok so there's been A LOT going on lately and I haven't really written about anything so here goes:


a) My mom's friend Harry (who is the closest thing to a "dad" that I have) had a serious stroke on Saturday night. His girlfriend, Tammy, found him on the kitchen floor after he had been there for at least 2 hours. He was life-flighted to Mercy in DSM and has been there since. As of yesterday, they moved him out of the ICU into a more permanent room. This has been so hard for me, I'm trying to be strong and help everyone, but it kills me to see him lying there in that bed. I have never been more scared than I was on Saturday night as we drove to the hospital at 3am. I just pray that he will make a speedy and full recovery. The doctors don't think he will ever be able to move his left arm again, but I have faith that he will be ok and will recover in miraculous ways.

b) On a lighter note, I'm joining a sorority =) I went to informal recruitment for Kappa Kappa Gamma last week, and got a bid on Thursday night. I accepted and will pledge next week, move into the house hopefully soon, and initiate in early November (I think). I was really nervous going into this, but now I am soo excited! I broke the news to my grandma on Saturday about the financial obligations, which we're less of an issue than I thought...possibly because I think she thought I was going to tell her I was pregnant or something else really bad, so when I told her I was joining KKG she was relieved...and I can't wait to move in!





c) I've been having some minor roommate issues, and that definitely has a lot to do with my excitement to move out of the dorms and into KKG...I just hope that I can be patient and deal with these issues in a respectful and Christ-like way...basically I pray that I won't freak out on her lol



d) I've kinda been flirting with this boy....idk where it's going...idk if I want it to go anywhere...I'm majorly confused. He's a really great guy, he's a Christian, he makes me smile, I really like him...BUT...he's a long way away, and I don't really know him all that well so it's hard for me to make a genuine opinion of him. I'm really torn here!! Gah! I pray that I'll figure out what God wants me to do here...I'd really like a roadmap sometimes =)

I think that's it....maybe...if not I'll be back later!


P.S. I'm really scared I'm going to get H1N1! Pray for safety and health for everyone!
NO GERMS =P
<3 Paullina

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Excuses

So I've been busy...not a good excuse, but it's really the only one I can come up with for why I haven't been writing. I wrote a poem today though, which was inspired by the feathery find I made on my way to Irving today, and I wanted to post it up here. It doesn't have a name yet so if you can think of one let me know! I also wanted to share some prayer requests and what not =)

I will cover you with my feathers
He said to me one day
Under my wings you will find refuge⎯
a safe place for you to stay

I'll send feathers down to guide you
a sign to lead the way
you'll find them when you need to
listen to what I have to say

I'll place them on the sidewalk
in the grass, or in your hair
sometimes you won't find any
but know I'm always there

You'll find them when you need to
reminders along the way
telling you I LOVE YOU
even though you often stray

If you ever need protection
my wings will be your shield
they'll stand the stormy weather
no matter what⎯they'll never yield

Because He is my help
I'll sing beneath His wings
He's forever here to LOVE me
whatever this life brings.

I listen when He speaks
His comfort I will seek
His feathers guide my way
even though the darkest day

PRAYERS
-Emma and her treatment/tests/everything
-money issues
-possibly joining a sorority
-temptation
-patience
-forgiveness
-direction
-Kiley and her needs and praise for passing her test =)
-the other butterflies, it's not over yet, it's just beginning!
-mom and sister
-legal issues being resolved--huge joy!
-possibly getting a tattoo--the pics will be attached...I'm excited!!
(footnote on pics- definitely want the compass rose and at least one feather...not sure which one or if I want both...suggestions??)

LOVE <3 LOVE

Friday, September 11, 2009

Frustration

So I'm going home in like half an hour so I thought I should at least write something before I leave. I am really frustrated with school right now...everything is just going wrong, and I don't have the patience or motivation to deal with anything academic.

Today I went to drop off my add/drop sheet in the Business Office so they could sign off on it and finalize my schedule. They wouldn't do it because I owe SC $17,000 because my financial aid has yet to be approved by the college. Thanks for telling me this a week ago when I could have done something about it and not been fined...you're awesome SC.

I definitely need to work on my patience...it's something I've always struggled with, but I've noticed a lot more lately that it's getting out of control. I freak out about the littlest things and I really need to simmer down.

I went to Immersion at the Lutheran Church of Hope in West Des Moines yesterday with Charity and her friend Ben, and I really enjoyed it...I think I'm going to be making regular appearances from now on..also since I'm going to be home this weekend, I'm thinking about making a jog over to Ankeny on Sunday morning =)

Other than that I don't really have much to talk about...I will after this weekend probably...hopefully good things!
<3 Paully

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Ezekiel 34-36

Scripture: Exekiel 36:24-28
'For here's what I'm going to do: I'm going to take you out of these countries, gather you from all over, and bring you back to your own land. I'll pour pure water over you and scrub you clean. I'll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you. I'll remove the stone heart from your body and replace it with a heart that's God-willed, not self-willed. I'll put my Spirit in you and make it possible for you to do what I tell you and live by my commands. You'll once again live in the land I gave your ancestors. You'll be my people! I'll be your God!

Observation: This is basically my Chrysalis experience...God brought be from where I was before, and brought me back. He cleaned me and opened my heart to him. He has filled me up with His spirit!

Application: I'm going to work really hard to keep myself immersed in Him, I'm not going to take my ember out of the fire....I want to live by His Word and be completely His.

Prayer: Father God, I just pray that you protect me from temptation, it's really something I struggle with. I ask your blessing in all that I do, shine through me and use me to build your kingdom. Thank you so much for everything you have done in my life Lord, everything I have I have because of you. You are a gracious and merciful God and I am amazed daily by how much you love me! Keep me under your wing, cover me with your feathers. Be my faithful shield! I ask this in the name of your son, my savior, Jesus Christ.
Amen <3

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Prayers for Rifqa

http://www.wftv.com/news/20349388/detail.html

Romans 10:9
"If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved."

Here is a transcript of the Rifqa Bary video - thanks to Pamela Geller.
This young woman's testimony is a plea to the free world to stand for its values and its principles. How far we have fallen when a young woman is pleading to be free in the land of the free, home of the brave.

Rifqa Bary: Well, I’m a Christian, and my parents are Muslim. They’re extremely devout. And they can’t know about my faith – well, they do now. But they’ve threatened to kill me. I don’t know if you know about honor killing….You guys don’t understand. Islam is very different than you guys think. They have to kill me. My blood is now halal, which means that because I am now a Christian, I’m from a Muslim background, it’s an honor. If they love God more than me, they have to do this. And I’m fighting for my life, you guys don’t understand. You don’t understand.

What did your father say to you?

He said he would kill me. Or he’d have me sent back to Sri Lanka where they’d put me in the asylum…

I ran away from home. I wrote my parents a note, I said, I refuse to deny Jesus and He’s my Lord and Savior and I pray you find His forgiveness and mercy and I love them both dearly. I wrote that, but they never showed it to the police officers. They want me back home, I can’t go back to Ohio, you guys don’t understand. That community, they’re like – I will die within a week. My life is at stake. My dad threatened me. I was ready to die, these were my thoughts, that I’ll be a martyr for Christ, let it be so! But the Lord led me here somehow through His grace. I rode on a bus for 27 hours, to 30 hours, to get here. And yes, it’s been God’s hand protecting me the entire time. But I’m fighting for my life, so that prayers are appreciated. I don’t know what – Today’s my birthday, my seventeenth birthday, and I might even die, I don’t know what’s going to happen to my own life.

Can you tell me why you ran away?

I was threatened by my dad. When my dad found out – I had a Facebook, that’s how he found out – and phone calls from the Muslim community started coming in with emails that confronted me. And I had a laptop and he took that laptop and waved it in the air and he was about to beat me with it, and he said, “If you have this Jesus in your heart, you’re dead to me. You’re not my daughter.” And I refused to speak but he said, “I will kill you. Tell me the truth.” In these words, bad words, cuss words. So I knew that I had to get away. A couple of weeks later even, I told my dad that I would fol — that I would begin to learn more about Islam, because I was scared. And I said that because when I had come to know the Lord, I dropped everything about Islam. I mean, I had to hide my Bible for years, I would go outside to pray. When my dad was asleep was when I went outside to pray. I snuck out to Christian prayer meetings in fear of my life. And finally this day had come, when I was confronted by my dad. A couple of weeks later, after I told my dad that I would follow -- I wouldn’t follow Islam, but would learn more about it. Then he put me in class after class after class after class, thinking that, you know, that my mind was gonna be back in it, but of course not, I’m a follower of God, Jesus, the true living Jesus! But a couple of weeks later my mom found a Christian book and I knew right then that it was over for me. I had to leave.

How did you end up in Florida?

Here? What happened is that night, I had to leave. So I left that Saturday night, was it? Yeah, it was Saturday night. In the morning I left to go to a friend’s house. And I asked her, I begged her to take me to church. I needed to get to church. I needed to pray, I needed to seek the Lord to know what to do. And so that entire day from seven in the morning to late at night I prayed and prayed and prayed, and finally I was able to get a ride back home to that person’s house. And I stayed there Saturday, Sunday night because my dad was coming back home from his trip that night, and so I stayed there that night and I just left. I hitchhiked to a bus station and I got a ticket to Florida because I had met them through a prayer ministry on Facebook. And this was the farthest away from Ohio – you don’t understand, if I had stayed in Ohio, I wouldn’t be alive. And so I was able to do t hat. I called them from the bus. On the bus there were nice people there that I was able to talk to, and I used their phone to call them.

Have there been any type of killings at all in your family? Have you ever seen anything like that?

I’m not sure, but in 150 generations of my family no one has known Jesus. I am the first one. Imagine the honor in killing me. There is great honor in that. Because if they love Allah more than me, they have to do it. It’s in the Koran. And you can, like, give them knowledge about it [gestures to someone off camera, who says something unintelligible]. He really will explain it and break it down. They have to do this. They just have to. Either they do that or they send me back to Sri Lanka. There’s an asylum there where they put people like me, like, think I’m crazy.

Do you really think that this is true or do you think that this is just a threat?

There’s actually hundreds of cases that are backed like me. Amina and Sarah, they were forced to go back home. They were killed by their dad! This is not just some threat! This is reality! This is truth! This is reality! How many more cases do you want? There’s case after case. There’s hundreds of them. I am one. I am one of hundreds. They have to. You guys don’t understand. They have to. I don’t know what else to say, but they have to. If you want proof, there’s hundreds of cases that can validate my story. Even my friends and people from back home, they knew what would happen to me. My own brother knew about my faith and he didn’t tell my dad. What does that say? He knew the consequences! He knew!

So what do you want at this point now?

I want to be with them. I want to be free from my parents. I want to be free. I want to worship Jesus. I want to go to church on Sundays and read my Bible and see Jesus alive, whenever I want to. You talk about religious freedom? No! I don’t have that. I want to be here. I want to worship Jesus freely. I don’t want to die."

Rifqa Bary's next court date is Sept 29

A Florida trial will decide whether Rifqa, 17, a disciple of Jesus Christ, will be sent home to her Muslim parents in Ohio where her father has threatened to kill her in an "honor killing" based on Islamic Sharia law.

Prayer Pointers:
As Christians we believe the way to reconciliation with God is to accept the sacrifice of Jesus our Saviour on the cross. Good works will not gain us eternal life. Let us pray with hope in God to save and reconcile Muslim people to Him through Jesus Christ.

*Krista Bartholomew - guardian ad litum (influential to the court and judge) pray for divine favour and for God to guide her in the right direction with decisions that need to be made.

*Craig McCarthy & Barbara Joyner (lawyers for the parents Mohamed & Aysha Bary): pray blessing over them and for truth to penetrate their hearts. That the love of Jesus would shine so brightly by Rifqa and people supporting and fighting on her behalf.

*Judge Daniel Dawson: Pray this story would be more than another case and would become personal to him. Ask for the Lord to guide his heart and for peace to come upon him. He is under a lot of pressure. Pray blessing and for divine favour. Ask for the Lord to show up with dreams and visions. The Lord's justice to be released in the court room using this man as a vessel in order to do so.

*John Stemberger & Rosa Gonzalez (attorney's for Rifqa): Divine strategies to be given. Divine favour in the court room. Words would be given by the Lord to speak on Rifqa's behalf.

*Rifqa: Fire from Heaven to consume her lips that when she opens her mouth ears would be opened to listen to the voice of the Lord shaking through the court room penetrating hearts. Healing in her eye to be used for the salvation of millions and for revival to breakthrough this nation. Ask God to give back double what she has lost.

*Pastor Beverly & Blake Lorenz (entire family): Pray for peace that passes all understanding. Protection from the fiery darts of the evil. Pray off word curses form the Islamic community and for protection of their ministry. Pray for the Lord to honor their obedience and the sacrifices they have made.

"Father in heaven, we thank you now for sparing Rifqa's life and making a way of escape for her because her heart's desire is to worship you the Living God and your Son Jesus freely. We ask now that as Rifqa fasts and prays you give her wisdom from above that is pure, peaceable and full of good fruit about what to say when she appears in court. We trust you that as your Word says she will know the right words to speak when she's brought into the courtroom with the authorities. We ask Father for favor for Rifqa. We ask that you open the judge's eyes to see, his ears to hear, and give him a heart to understand this situation not from a worldly perspective but from heaven's perspective. We ask for protection to continue for Rifqa--that you would give her life to her as a prize in all the places wherever she goes, Lord. Give her supernatural peace that surpasses her present circumstances. Let this peace from you be so real to her that it overrides all her fears when she appears in court. Let her words be like apples of gold in settings of fine silver, words fitly spoken. Let her words be a testimony to your grace and your goodness. Let those who hear and see her be moved by your glory upon her Lord. Let the light of your countenance be upon Rifqa and the Christian ministers who testify on her behalf. Lord, increase faith in this circumstance. Our faith doesn't rest with the wisdom of men, but in the power of God. You are the one who gives us overcoming grace so we ask for the grace to overcome for Rifqa now. Fill her to overflowing with your great love for her. Let it encapsulate her against this storm, Lord. Your great, great perfect love casts out fear so I am asking that fear be far removed from her. Let her every breath be a testimony to Rifqa of your hand on her life. Reassure her and comfort her even this day as we pray, Lord, that her times are in your hands. We speak that none of your plans or purposes for Rifqa's life can be thwarted. You are the God who knows her intimately. You formed her in her mother's womb and knew her days when as yet there were none of them. Thank you Lord for divine protection over her life today and in the days ahead. Thank you Lord that you are a righteous and just judge. We ask that you intervene on her behalf. We pray all these things in the name above every other name in this age and the one to come, Jesus.
Amen <3

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Ezekiel 31-33

Scripture: Ezek 33:11 Tell them, "As sure as I am the living God, I take no pleasure from the death of the wicked. I want the wicked to change their ways and live. Turn your life around! Reverse your evil ways! Why die, Israel?'"

Observation: I had a lot of issues reading these chapters because God sounds so angry! It talks a lot about war and bringing proud countries down...I know that is God and when he's angry he is angry for a reason, but I just wasn't feeling it today. Maybe another time. The verse that really stuck in my head as I read was Ezek 33:11 because is shows that God loves each and everyone of us and he doesn't want us to perish. God created us to love us and to have us love him...not to destroy us! He doesn't want to punish us, but when we don't follow his laws he has to. It's like parenting...if the parent is too lenient the child takes over and doesn't learn how to be a responsible mature adult...if God was too lenient we would never learn how to be mature Christians.

Application: I'm going to turn my life around. That's why I started this journal. It's never too late for the wicked to repent and to begin living righteous lives. This is where it starts. It's going to be hard, and I'm more prepared for that than I ever was before. I have backup this time...support and someone to hold me accountable...and above all I have God. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Prayer:
Father God,
I have a lot to pray for. I am soo blessed and soo thankful for all that you do for me Lord! You have brought people into my life and they are amazing! They're like lighthouses that you have set out to keep me from crashing and burning. You're looking out for me--your on my side! How did I ever forget that? You are a mighty and wonderful God who wants to save us! You want us to love you, and I so do! Thank you for the amazing Chrysalis experience that I just had, and for opening my eyes to the wonderful things that you have been doing for me all along!
Lord, I have a few things to ask for. I want to lift many people up to you tonight, and I pray for each of them and their needs. I ask that you bless all the new butterflies and the Chrysalis team. I ask that you refill them, they're all so worn out from their powerful experience. Keep their fire burning, keep the ember in the fire. Lord I specifically want to lift up Kiley & Brandon. I ask that you bless their relationship and keep them both strong. I also ask blessings on Jeni and Staci; Lord if it is Staci's time to attend Chrysalis and experience you in that way, I ask that you open the doors to her and help Jeni be strong and act as a wonderful sponsor. I want to pray for my cousin Shawna as well, she's had a rough week or so and I just pray that you keep her going. I know she has fallen away from you God, and I just ask that you use me to pull her back into a relationship with you. I love her so much, and seeing her unhappy hurts me...I want her to be fulfilled by you. I also ask that you help Luis find a job where he can shine your light to the world. He is a really awesom kid, and I know you're going to use him well!! Above all Lord, I want to pray for Emma and her health. She's stuggling, and she needs you now more than ever. Cover her with your feathers Lord--hold her under you wing and protect her. I pray that she knows you've got her back, and that you will never ever leave her side.
Lord I ask also for my own needs, you know better that I do what they are. I pray that you clean me and use me--here I am, take me and mold me. I'm giving it all to you, and I know you've got my best interest at heart. I'm wholly yours!
I ask these things in the name of my awesome and living savior Jesus Christ, your son!
AMEN <3
So I used to have a hardcopy life journal and I used it for a few weeks every day and I really enjoyed it and it really helped me to be closer to Christ. I then got really busy and distracted and didn't have the time to use it, and my relationship with Christ kinda fell by the wayside. I've recently just gotten back from an amazing three day experience called Chrysalis and I know in my heart that I need to get back on the right track with God. Therefore, I have decided to start an online life journal and I am really going to work hard on keeping up with it diligently EVERYDAY!! I have an accountability partner now, God has blessed me with her and I am soo glad that she is part of my life, and I hope that together we can hold each other up and remain strong in Christ! I just wanted to take a minute to explain this whole blog thing before I officially started, but I will post the first of many SOAP entries later today!

Under His wing--dwelling in the arm pit,
Paully